A Strange House
by Ria D'Arcy
Summary: AU (weird family) Hisoka is called to watch over his cousin Mito's kids as something urgent seems to have happened. What exactly, Hisoka doesn't know but he soon finds out.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This is probably the strangest fic I have ever written. I don't even have the excuse of saying I came up with this while sleep deprived... _

_Anyways I am really interested to know what people think so please don't be shy with the reviews and enjoy the story._

* * *

Settling the cards into their place as the final tier of his house of cards Hisoka settled himself back against the couch in the picturesque living room. He truly meant "picturesque." If any home and house magazine was opened this living room could have settled nicely across a glossy two-page spread; a dark beige loveseat and matching couch surrounded two sides of a mahogany coffee table with only a small crystal vase of fresh flowers adorning the top, the shelves beneath organized pristinely so one never had to search long for anything. The plushy white carpet beneath looked so spotless that it seemed brand new from the store and angled in the corner beside the three panel bay window was the matching beige recliner with a hand knitted afghan folded over the back, a tall standing lamp stood just beside the chair.

Perhaps the only thing the room lacked, in Hisoka's opinion, was a television. The room, and subsequently the house, was utterly silent. The unsettling kind of silence where one felt as though any second something was going to go horribly wrong and fuck everything up.

Just outside the room was the front hallway, where the sound of the front door banging open and shut came from. A pleasant smile formed on the jester's lips – even if he was dressed in normal clothes such as blue jeans and a button up black shirt with the cuffs rolled up – and he knocked the house of cards so it collapsed on the table.

Seconds later the loud clattering of school backpacks and shoes against the floor preceded a trio of voices calling out,

"We're home!" It was all the invitation the red head needed to saunter to his feet and return the greeting, standing in the entry way between the room and the hall.

"Welcome home~"

"Gah! It's the pedo again!" The young boy with tussled silver hair exclaimed with part irritation and part disgust. Killua was his name and he was best friends with the equally young spikey black haired boy, Gon, who was huddled next to him with a pouting expression. The third boy who had also announced his return was also dark haired, a few years younger than Killua and Gon, named Zushi. However it was not just those three who had returned, there were two more children who lived in the house; Machi and Illumi.

Those two are the oldest, both being fourteen and well into their first years of high school. Machi was slim with long, silky pink hair and a cold expression. Not being the friendly sort she ignored Hisoka completely and shoved past him with her backpack still clutched in her hand. Hisoka, grinning maddeningly despite their being nothing remotely amusing, turned his yellow eyes onto the last boy – Illumi. Shoulder length straight black hair, large obsidian eyes, and an expressionless face greeted the jester. If Machi was 'unfriendly; than Illumi was 'anti-social.' The man very rarely got the teen to speak, and those were typically answers to his questions in five words or less.

"Good afternoon I-llu-mi," Hisoka purred only to be given a blank look and a brush off. Chuckling to himself as he watched the kid walk off his attention was returned with Killua's crisp words.

"Oi pedo! Why are you here?"

"I thought you might have been _missing_ me so I came for a visit. Won't you give me a hug?" He threw his arms out wide in invitation and tried not to laugh as Killua's face transformed to show his disgust. Lowering his arms he let slide one giggle before answering in some seriousness, "Mito and Wing left some time ago but didn't want to leave the five of you alone. Viola!"

"So they thought leaving us in the hands of a pedo like you was safer than leaving us alone?" Killua snorted, not buyin a thing Hisoka said. He was such a big liar.

"Let's just go Killua," Gon tugged on his friend's sleeve, "we have homework."

"Shall I give you boys a hand hmm~?"

"No way!" Killua cried at the same time Gon shouted,

"We'll be fine!"

Raising his hands in mock surrender Hisoka returned to his spot on the couch as the three boys snatched up their backpacks and made a mad dash for where their bedrooms lay.

Although Killua had called him a liar Hisoka was currently where he was because Mito had indeed called him, though he had omitted telling the boys that she had been in a panic at the time. Not understanding half of what the woman had said, all the jester could grasp was something was wrong with the man called Wing (Mito's long-time boyfriend) and that he was her only hope. Apparently no one else had been able to get to the house as quickly as Hisoka to greet the kids when they returned from school.

It was truly a strange day, Hisoka thought as the cards were collected before he once more began building a tower and the house returned to the silence it had had before the children's return, now occasionally punctured by a shouted insult or two from the second floor. Not only a strange day, a strange house as well.

Finishing the second tier of the house of cards Hisoka thought about the different relationships between the houses occupants:

Hisoka and Mito were second cousins.

Mito was the mother of Gon.

Wing was the father of Zushi.

Illumi was Wing's step-son from a previous marriage, while Killua was Illumi's half-brother.

Machi was somehow related to Mito, though Hisoka wasn't precisely sure how. He guessed they were cousins or perhaps aunt and niece.

* * *

It was some hours later, nearing the dinner hour that Hisoka yawned and pulled his cell phone from his pocket. There were no missed messages. A frown wormed its way onto Hisoka's face. Something was beginning to feel _very_ wrong about this situation.

"-re crazy!" Killua's voice caught the jester's attention enough that he tilted his head and wondered what was going on. The pounding of multiple pairs of feet descending stairs intrigued him all the more.

"But Killua!" Gon's voice whined, sounding ever closer to the room where Hisoka still sat. Moments later Killua, Gon, and Zushi appeared in the entryway. Gon stepped forward, mouth opening to say something until he caught the undivided attention the older man was giving him. Chickening out Gon shoved Killua in front of him, the latter cursing vilely enough for Hisoka to chuckle. The brat had quiet the sailor's mouth already, how cute.

With a resigned sigh the boy with naturally silver hair squared his shoulders and turned to address Hisoka with his usual petulant tone.

"Do you know how to cook?" Hisoka's eyebrow rose at the unexpected question.

"Excuse me?"

"Can you cook or not?" He repeated, sounding more snappish the longer he stood there.

Smiling as he held off his answer, dragging out the boys' discomfort until he finally gave the only truthful answer there was, "Nope," with a pop on the _p_ sound.

"Told ya," Killua grumbled to Gon and Zushi, three faces showing utter disappointment. Those expressions forced Hisoka to relent, picking up the phone from where it had been placed on the table.

"But, I _can_ order some take out. What are you in the mood for?" Three pairs of eyes lit up and smiles overrode all other expressions. If there was a signal Hisoka missed it because as one voice they all shouted,

"Pizza!" at the top of their lungs.

Nodding as he thumbed through his contacts looking for the local pizza place's number (which he had ensured was saved the last time he wound up watching these kids) Hisoka asked what toppings they would like, making sure he got suggestions for what Machi and Illumi might like as well.

* * *

It was much later when Hisoka opened the door of Killua's bedroom to see he and Gon fast asleep on the one mattress. He smirked as a twitch in the one's leg caused the other to roll over and land his foot on Killua's stomach. It amazed the jester that they could sleep like that without having to unknot themselves in the morning… then again, maybe they did.

Softly closing the door Hisoka opened the one across the hall to see a peacefully sleeping Zushi. Snuggled on his right side beneath the covers Zushi's mouth was slightly open and a snore escaped him.

After seeing that all the younger ones were "tucked in" so to speak Hisoka walked down the hallway, passing the top of the stairs, to the three remaining bedrooms. He knew the one at the very end was Mito's and Wing's so that door remained undisturbed. However, a bright light beneath the one on the left indicated either Machi or Illumi was still awake.

Not knowing whom to expect Hisoka decided to uphold common courtesy and _knocked_ before opening the door (ignoring the part where he was supposed to wait for permission). Illumi was seated at a plain wooden desk, laptop open and him typing away. He gave no acknowledgment to the red head's presence. Not being put off by the teen's normal attitude Hisoka walked in and sat himself on the foot of the twin bed, closest to where Illumi was. He looked around to discover an average looking bedroom. The bed he sat upon was neatly made up, the only creases on the blue-green-purple-red stripped comforter forming out from under Hisoka's butt. A bookcase was organized alphabetically by author, not a spine out of place. And, if he had looked closer, Hisoka doubted he would find even a speck of dirt anywhere. At a glance it seemed like such a normal room but the longer one looked the more of the teen's absent personality was found. The only personal touches seemed to be the books and those consisted of non-fiction texts on a variety of subjects.

The rhythmic tapping of the keyboard halted as Ilumi turned to pin Hisoka with his black eyes.

"Did you want something?"

Scraping a set of nails along his scalp to keep his red hair out of his eyes as he locked stares with the teen Hisoka relaxed back so his weight was centered on his palms, which were resting further behind him.

"Can't I just want to get to know you better?" Hisoka asked fighting the twitch in his lips to keep an innocent face.

"No," was the blunt reply. Illumi turned around to resume typing, a hint that Hisoka should leave. A hint the jester happily ignored by coming up behind Illumi's chair to lay his arms along the top and rested his chin to look over the raven's shoulder.

"What is Illu working on?"

"Illu?" A tilt of the head but no other reaction, not even a hesitation against a stroke of a key.

"Yes, what is my precious Illu working on so late at night?" Hisoka's right hand trailed down the chair, wanting to touch the teen's smooth pale skin only to be thwarted and have it slapped away by Illumi's smaller one. His bottom lip pushed out for a pout and Illumi returned to typing with both hands. Not once had he turned around.

It was just as Hisoka decided to leave the teen be, as he obviously wasn't going to get any fun out of him, that his phone vibrated. The caller ID flashed Mito's name.

"_Hisoka?"_ Her voice sounded hoarse so she cleared her throat before repeating louder, _"Hisoka?"_

'So wonderful to hear from you~" He cooed and strolled away, not missing how Illumi's fingers broke their rhythm. Was the teen curious?

"_I'm sorry but could you spend the night with the kids? I… I won't be home tonight."_ His good mood fell instantly as Mito's voice hitched in several places and sounded like she was about to cry by the end. Nothing of her usually calm voice was there tonight. And Hisoka hadn't missed her wording either – _I_ – where was Wing?

He had reached the top of stairs, laying one hand on the banister, nodding his head.

"Alright Mito, don't worry your little head about them and see you tomorrow."

"_Thank you Hisoka," _Mito whispered before disconnecting the call to leave Hisoka where he was. Thoughts went through his mind but nothing was making sense.

"Who was that?" Illumi's monotonous voice startled Hisoka and nearly sent the jester toppling to the bottom of the stairs, which would have been greatly embarrassing.

"Oh~ Is little Illu curious?"

"No"

The automatic yet contradictory answer returned Hisoka somewhat to his previous good mood. With a forceful push he tried to get Mito and this situation from his mind.

"Then good night." The red head bade but was answered with silence as the teen returned to his room.

* * *

Hisoka's nose twitched as something soft brushed his nostrils. Seconds later the sensation returned, and again, to cause Hisoka to sneeze. Sitting up to try and cover his mouth with his hand the man was shocked when something cold and creamy was smeared across his lower face. Opening his eyes in time to glare bemusedly at the back of certain young boys running from the room Hisoka heard their giggles. Granted sleeping so deeply with them around had been unwise but Hisoka had spent too long looking out the front window and pondering about Mito and Wing. As much as he had tried he could not let it go last night and ended up falling asleep on the couch shortly after five this morning.

Shaking his head Hisoka used the back of his cream filled hand to wipe what he could from his lips and chin. There was no need to reprimand the boys, Hisoka had been the one to teach them that trick after all; it was just ironic that he was now a victim of his own students.

Walking into the bathroom Hisoka neglected to notice the steam fogged room until he was roughly shoved back out and the door slammed in his face. Blinking rapidly Hisoka wondered if he really had just seen a towel clade Machi, who had worn a very peeved expression. Oops.

"Hisoka's a pedo _and_ a perv. Who knew?" Killua snickered from farther down the hall, ducking his head back around the corner and into the kitchen where he and the other two seemed to be making quite the ruckus. Hisoka followed the noise, still with cream dripping down his chin, to discover an extremely messy kitchen.

The counter was cluttered with dirty mixing bowls, what seemed to be batter splatters, orange juice spills, and sticky maple syrup. The table was similarly filled with half-finished breakfast plates – pancakes as Hisoka had thought – surrounded by Killua, Gon, Zushi, and surprisingly Illumi (the only one who seemed to understand the function of a napkin). To Hisoka it looked as if something had exploded in their attempt to make breakfast. That said, he was impressed that nothing seemed to be on fire, or even smoking, and the food appeared edible enough.

A very strange house indeed.


	2. Chapter 2

The rattling of keys and the click of the front lock opening drew Hisoka's attention. He was once again in the picturesque living room building his house of cards. All five children had left for school of their own accord (Machi stomping out of the house without giving Hisoka any look asides from a truly evil eye) shortly after he had walked into the kitchen and then spent the better part of the morning cleaning up the mess left behind. Now the jester climbed to his feet and watched, leaning against the frame of the entryway to the hall, as a withdrawn and solemn Mito came in. Her moves were slow and seemed pained, a white paper bag clutched to her chest. Hisoka observed the puffy red cheeks, the blood shot look in the woman's eyes, and the tremors that seemed to possess her body. Whatever had happened...

The red head moved to take the bag from his cousin and offer support but she refused to hand over the bag, shaking her head vehemently and backing away from Hisoka with the eyes of a terrified child.

"Mito?" He softly asked, reaching this time for her shoulder as she swayed. "Mito what's wrong?!"

Tears glistened in the corners of her eyes but she just shook her head and moved towards the kitchen. He could only watch as she barely seemed to have the strength to pick her feet up, the soles of her shoes (which Mito had neglected to take off) getting stuck to the hardwood every so often and causing her to stumble and land heavily against the wall before shoving herself away. The bag was never released for a second. Whatever had happened was bad. Not the 'okay we can fix this and move on' kind of bad but the 'fucking fuck fuck' kind that you never got over or forgot.

He made it to the doorway of the kitchen in time to see Mito set the kettle on the stove, turning on the burner with one arm still tightly holding the bag to her chest. Never had he seen her this dejected, the sight was turning his stomach to the point where all he wanted to do was turn away and leave, to forget all about this and carry on with his own life. Before he would have done so without guilt, but Mito had done too much for him in recent years that turning away now left a bad taste in his mouth. He was growing softer the older he got.

Mito's body once more swayed and if Hisoka had not reacted as quickly as he did she would have collapsed to the floor, a strong possibility of her head hitting hard enough to leave temporary or permanent damage. Kneeling with her in his arms Hisoka felt the chill Mito's skin had, the paler of her skin and the dark bags beneath her eyes. It was as though she had lived through a nightmare.

"Alright, Mito you need to work with me here. Come up, up we go." Keeping her body crushed against his own, supporting all her weight, Hisoka brought the two of them to their feet and walked Mito back to the living room. She was forcibly made to sit on the couch, though Hisoka had to constantly order her to stay there and not stand up. The whistling kettle called Hisoka back to the kitchen. He quickly poured the boiling water into a teapot, letting it steeped as he prepared two mugs... Two mugs? One for him and one for Mito...

Hisoka's head jerked up towards the front door though he couldn't see it from the kitchen, growing panic lighting up his eyes. Where was Wing? He hadn't been home, which was why Mito had called Hisoka... in a panic. Mito had called Hisoka in a panic... What had happened to Wing?

It took a lot of will power for Hisoka to stay where he was and finish preparing the tea. All he wanted to do, felt what he _needed_ to do, was return to Mito and find out what happened to the other man. Swallowing to wet his suddenly dry throat Hisoka knew on some subconscious level that today was going to end horribly, if it wasn't already a horrible day. Tapping his fingernails against the counter the jester was impatient for the tea and decided it had steeped long enough. The way Mito was he doubted she would even notice if the tea was weak or not.

Returning to his cousin with the two mugs, Hisoka had to forcibly pry one of her hands away from the bag that seemed to be acting as a life line and curl her fingers around the warm ceramic before she even noticed its existence.

* * *

Time passed the house occupants in utter silence until it grew to be midafternoon and the spell was broken with the familiar sound of the front door banging open, backpacks and shoes being deposited to the floor, and happy announcements of arrival shouted. Neither Hisoka or Mito got up to greet the children as they would have done on another occasion. Seconds of a new silence, this one filled with apprehension, brought all five children into view. Illumi and Machi were standing behind the younger ones, keen eyes taking in the huddled posture of Mito and the downward tilted chin of Hisoka. Killua, Gon, and Zushi understood nothing, having the innocence of youth to allow them to utter questions adults would have known to phrase more delicately.

"What's wrong mom?"

"Where have you been Aunt Mito?"

"Where is my dad?"

"How come you both look terrible?" The last statement, spoken by Killua, seemed to be Mito's breaking point. Great big tears overflowed and she let out a loud sob, hiding her face in her hands while Hisoka, who sat next to Mito on the couch, never moved. Gon and Zushi glared at Killua. "What did I do?"

Behind their backs Machi rolled her eyes and crossed her arms but for once did not immediately walk off to hide away in her bedroom. She stayed, showing very little emotion, but inside wondering what was causing Mito's breakdown. The pinkette had never seen something shake this woman, whom was the only living relative she retained, that usually seemed so happy. Looking from the corner of her eye to catch Illumi's look Machi shrugged her shoulders and stayed silent.

The silver haired boy shoved his hands into the pockets of his shorts and ducked his head from his friends' continuous glares, violet eyes training themselves to the floor so that Killua missed it when Hisoka finally moved to comfort Mito though he could hear it.

"Breath," the jester reminded his cousin as he removed the empty mug from her clasped hands and placed it on the coffee table, beside the formally relinquished paper bag, "breath."

It took a few breaths, some hiccups, and constant swiping at her eyes but Mito eventually calmed down. And soon after, with broken sentences, Mito managed to tell everyone what had happened last night... and that Wing would never again be coming home.

* * *

_Laughing, Mito threaded her arm through that of her boyfriend's and pulled him closer to her as the two walked down the sidewalk. It was a gorgeous early spring day, the breeze carrying a very faint bite reminiscent of the long winter but the warmth of the sun slowly pushed it away. As their kids were all in school it was the perfect opportunity for them to spend time together; a simple lunch date followed by a leisurely walk home._

_The two stopped at the corner of an intersection, waiting for the signal to cross. Wing, with his white button up shirt half tucked and half un-tucked as per usual, turned to Mito. He took her left hand into his right, intertwining their fingers and bringing the back of her hand to his lips for a gentle kiss. His black eyes never left her happily smiling face, light pink dusting the top of her cheeks as she blushed._

_The signal turned green and Wing tugged Mito along behind him, stepping onto the road unaware of the speeding car that had just rounded a different corner. Time seemed to slow as the vehicle approached the two. It was Mito who was the first to spot it from the corner of her eye, her head turning to stare at it in horror. Her eyes widened, feet becoming rooted where she stood, and voice caught in her throat. She tried to scream, needed to warn Wing to get out of the way, but before she could find her voice again he had already seen the car. Wing pushed Mito out of the way, her body landing back on the relative safety of the sidewalk as the car collided with his lower body. The impact sent Wing rolling over the car as Mito was helpless to look on, hearing the sickening sound of multiple bones breaking as gravity pulled the man back down. The head of dark hair bounced, a thick pool of red forming rapidly beneath it._

_Gazing in horror at seeing the man she loved shattered before her eyes, Mito could only react in one way. Her stomach lurched and the lunch, so recently consumed that it was barely digested at all, came back up. Mito retched until nothing was left and only then could her mind focus beyond herself._

_Luckily others who had witnessed the accident had responded faster and police and paramedics were already en route. _

_Shortly after the ambulance arrived Wing was loaded up and taken to the nearest hospital, while Mito looked on with a hopeless expression. Her Wing... _

_"Ma'am?" A middle aged officer approached Mito, crouching in front of her so she could no longer see the flashing lights but could still hear the ambulance's sirens. "Ma'am are you all right?" He asked again, waving over a paramedic from the secondary ambulance when she still failed to respond._

* * *

_Once Mito arrived at the hospital, Wing had already been admitted to emergency surgery and she had been cleared, only suffering from severe shock, which was being treated with a large cup of coffee and a stale donut courtesy of the policeman who had driven her over. _

_Sitting in the corridor just outside of the operating rooms, half finished coffee in hand, Mito jumped up at the realization that no one would be home to greet the kids. Fresh panic set in. Since she could do nothing but pray for Wing, Mito devoted her thoughts and energy towards finding someone to watch the kids until..._

_Shaking hands reached into her purse, digging around for her cell phone._

_"I'm sorry miss, you can't use that in here." A passing nurse informed Mito as she was just about to dial the first number, that of her mother. She jumped in fright, knocking over the now cold cup of coffee._

_"I-I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm s-so s-so-sorry." Mito blubbered as she frantically tried to wipe up the liquid, not in the least aware that she was using only her hand and spreading it._

_"It's all right... Why don't you go outside, get some air, and call whoever you need to call. I'll stay and clean this right up no worries." The kind brunette helped Mito to her feet, pushing her in the direction of the exit doors._

* * *

Gravel crunched underfoot, numerous car doors closed, and the mourners slowly dispersed as the funeral service came to an end. The vast cemetery was returned to the lonesome place it was, only Mito, Hisoka, and the five children remaining behind. Even the man who had conducted the burial was on his way indoors, not wanting to be out in the open when the overhanging clouds broke apart to release the torrent of rain that was predicted to happen that afternoon.

The seven were dressed in black attire, the males in suits while the females wore knee length dresses. Mito's face was finally dry, her tears having stopped though her grief was still fresh. Zushi on the other hand was balling, his sobs the only noise over that of the dead. Gon too was very close to tears, his face still red from the first round, and even Killua's eyes glistened heavily. The only impassive faces belonged to Hisoka, Illumi, and Machi.

In time, even they drifted away from the fresh grave - Mito lingering behind so she could trail her fingers over the cold headstone. She placed a tender kiss to the marble, forcing her feet to carry her away and rejoin her children and cousin.

* * *

WING

BELOVED FATHER, SON, PARTNER, AND FRIEND

19XX - 20XX


End file.
